January 3 | AA 12 Steps In Action |
Step six and step seven, step six all about extremes of fear, putting on a brave face and ego covering up shame and guilt. Step seven, about developing courage, faith and confidence daily. Contingent on asking for help, to see the truth of now and how life really is, the extremes of step six defects as they are known, become less and less. And my shortcomings, courage faith and confidence can grow to meet the day and its challenges. Willing to ask, willing to make spot checks, willing to reflect and willing to share the truth of who I am today…
Experience strength and hope: Back in the day I used to try and prove myself in whatever endeavour seemed right at the time. Old fears and insecurities from childhood, fear of being found out, guilt or shame about what I did not know was always there. I proved I could work hard, be successful, have romantic interludes and keep making life bigger and bigger. But the old fears were always there and alcohol and activity kept them at bay. Nowadays hardly any fear, just enough to keep a watchful eye. Today I can look out and be part of what is good for me, rather than what I thought I ought to be doing to prove myself. Living in the now, is where true happiness can be experienced. Sober and free to make good choices today…
My final Christmas "drinking alcohol" was a living hell. Walking to my mother's house, for lunch, not very far, felt like 1000 miles. Sober nearly, jittery and fragile. I could only stay an hour or so, hardly able to eat a thing. The look of fear on my mother's face, and walking home to recommence the endless drinking, is a long time ago. Today and over Christmas, seeing friends and being sober could not be more different. Seeing family via Skype, and kept in touch every day and was very happy. That first step in the AA program, powerless over alcohol has not changed; I simply need not drink one day at a time...
Back in the day, educated and driven to prove my place in society. To overcome all difficulties through personal power and drive. Left no room for other people to really influence what went on inside me. And the reason, being a man, standing on my own two feet was what I thought it was all about. Today I realise it's not about me and what I think, a very narrow outlook; it's about what is good for everyone and having freedom to make good choices based on reality. There are few vacancies at the very top of society and they tend to be very lonely situations. I love life, have no clue how it may turn out, and a good day is knowing myself a little bit better before I go to sleep…
DonInLondon 2005-2011
"Don't aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally" David Frost
-/-
Step six and step seven, step six all about extremes of fear, putting on a brave face and ego covering up shame and guilt. Step seven, about developing courage, faith and confidence daily. Contingent on asking for help, to see the truth of now and how life really is, the extremes of step six defects as they are known, become less and less. And my shortcomings, courage faith and confidence can grow to meet the day and its challenges. Willing to ask, willing to make spot checks, willing to reflect and willing to share the truth of who I am today…
Experience strength and hope: Back in the day I used to try and prove myself in whatever endeavour seemed right at the time. Old fears and insecurities from childhood, fear of being found out, guilt or shame about what I did not know was always there. I proved I could work hard, be successful, have romantic interludes and keep making life bigger and bigger. But the old fears were always there and alcohol and activity kept them at bay. Nowadays hardly any fear, just enough to keep a watchful eye. Today I can look out and be part of what is good for me, rather than what I thought I ought to be doing to prove myself. Living in the now, is where true happiness can be experienced. Sober and free to make good choices today…
My final Christmas "drinking alcohol" was a living hell. Walking to my mother's house, for lunch, not very far, felt like 1000 miles. Sober nearly, jittery and fragile. I could only stay an hour or so, hardly able to eat a thing. The look of fear on my mother's face, and walking home to recommence the endless drinking, is a long time ago. Today and over Christmas, seeing friends and being sober could not be more different. Seeing family via Skype, and kept in touch every day and was very happy. That first step in the AA program, powerless over alcohol has not changed; I simply need not drink one day at a time...
Back in the day, educated and driven to prove my place in society. To overcome all difficulties through personal power and drive. Left no room for other people to really influence what went on inside me. And the reason, being a man, standing on my own two feet was what I thought it was all about. Today I realise it's not about me and what I think, a very narrow outlook; it's about what is good for everyone and having freedom to make good choices based on reality. There are few vacancies at the very top of society and they tend to be very lonely situations. I love life, have no clue how it may turn out, and a good day is knowing myself a little bit better before I go to sleep…
DonInLondon 2005-2011
"Don't aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally" David Frost
-/-
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