April 11 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 4 "Inventory" | Alcoholics Anonymous Today's AA daily reflection: "a word to drop: blame" the key for me in all this notion of blame is to remind myself of the serenity prayer, "serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference"
Step four is clearly difficult when our heads are full of old attitudes and behaviour where we may have blamed the world for our woes. In the writing of our inventory, which is sometimes called the grudge list we start to see where the blame is, most often continuing to do the same old things expecting something to happen which is different. A lot to do with step two in my case, where being restored to sanity is contingent on my ability to remember what I can and cannot do today and need remind myself on a daily basis with the serenity prayer and a reminder to self, "I need ask for help when needed!"
Practising and living life with the benefit of the twelve steps really helped in early days after step four and step ten and spotcheck inventories continually let me see my part in all matters. Often my part where situations will not to my liking meant I was either in the wrong situation or expecting the situation to change with regard to people, places and things. In the past I have lingered too long in the wrong place with the wrong people trying to do the right thing! Stopping old behaviour and having the courage, faith and confidence to move on, let go and very often say no… Especially in the finance and romance departments…
Key triggers to relapse and disaster are often highlighted, especially activities involving finance and romance. Spot checks of my part in matters, where I might be wanting rather than needing finance and romance to work will always place me in risky situations. Romance and finance are absolutely part of life and if we are fearless and rigourous and honest, rather than needy and sneaky and hoping against the odds, chances are we feel better able to cope with reality, especially when we are successful…
Yesterday, a medical consultation regarding physical and emotional ailments. I set my expectations to zero, and during the hour and a quarter wait, at the diabetic clinic, I read up on what the consultation ought to be based on information on the leading diabetes UK website. If I had set my expectations to those suggested on the website as to conduct of the consultant, I would have walked away full of anger and resentment. Utilising the program and with zero expectations I was able to walk away with a modicum of anger and resentment, and reciting the serenity prayer put me back on track for the rest of the day… No blame, medical services do not set their own standards, it is a political and historical mess…
DonInLondon 2005-2011
Steps one to nine are in an order for a reason. When I came into fellowship under my own steam, my then sponsor suggested the practice of step ten, eleven and twelve were good to practice from the outset. Step ten, what disturbed me and a gratitude list. Step eleven, pray and meditate. Twelve, get to meetings every day, be there and listen...
As we wake, dreams fade, feelings and thoughts emerge. How am I feeling, why and what to do, a thousand thoughts not yet formed ~ Kahlil Gibran "In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed" -/- Step three and acceptance, opens up our choices for today...
No single human source is a higher power, truth is developed through learning our own wisdom and wisdom from many others life experiences. We can find it difficult to listen and hear truth ~ Leo Buscaglia "Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around" -/- Listening and hearing truth, a human skill we can develop...
-/-
AA Daily Reflection: A WORD TO DROP: "BLAME" To see how erratic emotions victimized us often took a long time. We could perceive them quickly in others, but only slowly in ourselves. First of all, we had to admit that we had many of these defects, even though such disclosures were painful and humiliating. Where other people were concerned, we had to drop the word “blame” from our speech and thought. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 47
When I did my Fourth Step, following the Big Book guidelines, I noticed that my grudge list was filled with my prejudices and my blaming others for my not being able to succeed and to live up to my potential. I also discovered I felt different because I was black. As I continued to work on the Step, I learned that I always had drunk to rid myself of those feelings. It was only when I sobered up and worked on my inventory, that I could no longer blame anyone.
-/-
As Bill Sees It ~ Spot-Checking A spot-check inventory taken in the midst of disturbances can be of very great help in quieting stormy emotions. Today's spot check finds its chief application to situations which arise in each day's march. The consideration of long- standing difficulties had better be postponed, when possible, to times deliberately set aside for that purpose.
The quick inventory is aimed at our daily ups and downs, especially those where people or new events throw us off balance and tempt us to make mistakes. TWELVE AND TWELVE PP. 90-91
-/-
Step 4 "Fearless Inventory" Reading Video Link:
"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves"
-/-
Step four is clearly difficult when our heads are full of old attitudes and behaviour where we may have blamed the world for our woes. In the writing of our inventory, which is sometimes called the grudge list we start to see where the blame is, most often continuing to do the same old things expecting something to happen which is different. A lot to do with step two in my case, where being restored to sanity is contingent on my ability to remember what I can and cannot do today and need remind myself on a daily basis with the serenity prayer and a reminder to self, "I need ask for help when needed!"
Practising and living life with the benefit of the twelve steps really helped in early days after step four and step ten and spotcheck inventories continually let me see my part in all matters. Often my part where situations will not to my liking meant I was either in the wrong situation or expecting the situation to change with regard to people, places and things. In the past I have lingered too long in the wrong place with the wrong people trying to do the right thing! Stopping old behaviour and having the courage, faith and confidence to move on, let go and very often say no… Especially in the finance and romance departments…
Key triggers to relapse and disaster are often highlighted, especially activities involving finance and romance. Spot checks of my part in matters, where I might be wanting rather than needing finance and romance to work will always place me in risky situations. Romance and finance are absolutely part of life and if we are fearless and rigourous and honest, rather than needy and sneaky and hoping against the odds, chances are we feel better able to cope with reality, especially when we are successful…
Yesterday, a medical consultation regarding physical and emotional ailments. I set my expectations to zero, and during the hour and a quarter wait, at the diabetic clinic, I read up on what the consultation ought to be based on information on the leading diabetes UK website. If I had set my expectations to those suggested on the website as to conduct of the consultant, I would have walked away full of anger and resentment. Utilising the program and with zero expectations I was able to walk away with a modicum of anger and resentment, and reciting the serenity prayer put me back on track for the rest of the day… No blame, medical services do not set their own standards, it is a political and historical mess…
DonInLondon 2005-2011
Steps one to nine are in an order for a reason. When I came into fellowship under my own steam, my then sponsor suggested the practice of step ten, eleven and twelve were good to practice from the outset. Step ten, what disturbed me and a gratitude list. Step eleven, pray and meditate. Twelve, get to meetings every day, be there and listen...
As we wake, dreams fade, feelings and thoughts emerge. How am I feeling, why and what to do, a thousand thoughts not yet formed ~ Kahlil Gibran "In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed" -/- Step three and acceptance, opens up our choices for today...
No single human source is a higher power, truth is developed through learning our own wisdom and wisdom from many others life experiences. We can find it difficult to listen and hear truth ~ Leo Buscaglia "Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around" -/- Listening and hearing truth, a human skill we can develop...
-/-
AA Daily Reflection: A WORD TO DROP: "BLAME" To see how erratic emotions victimized us often took a long time. We could perceive them quickly in others, but only slowly in ourselves. First of all, we had to admit that we had many of these defects, even though such disclosures were painful and humiliating. Where other people were concerned, we had to drop the word “blame” from our speech and thought. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 47
When I did my Fourth Step, following the Big Book guidelines, I noticed that my grudge list was filled with my prejudices and my blaming others for my not being able to succeed and to live up to my potential. I also discovered I felt different because I was black. As I continued to work on the Step, I learned that I always had drunk to rid myself of those feelings. It was only when I sobered up and worked on my inventory, that I could no longer blame anyone.
-/-
As Bill Sees It ~ Spot-Checking A spot-check inventory taken in the midst of disturbances can be of very great help in quieting stormy emotions. Today's spot check finds its chief application to situations which arise in each day's march. The consideration of long- standing difficulties had better be postponed, when possible, to times deliberately set aside for that purpose.
The quick inventory is aimed at our daily ups and downs, especially those where people or new events throw us off balance and tempt us to make mistakes. TWELVE AND TWELVE PP. 90-91
-/-
Step 4 "Fearless Inventory" Reading Video Link:
"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves"
-/-
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