May 14 2012 | AA 12 Steps In Action | Step 5 Admit And Accept | Alcoholics Anonymous Today's AA daily reflection: "it's okay to be me…" I need to remind myself it is okay to be me every day because there are times when I will feel wrong sized with the people
around me because they are not right sized. I am wrong sized when I cannot share the truth, do not feel able to be myself and seek approval rather than simply sharing the truth as it is today…
Today I will be a learner, learning always how the truth will set me free. If I have to pretend or share inconvenient truths which might not be acceptable to others I am on a slippery slope back into ruin. Acceptance of life on life's terms is manageable even when it
can be extremely uncomfortable. But if I nip it in the bud, get back to being open, honest and willing to learn and let go the fear, faith and courage come back far more quickly in the moment or in the day…
Step five and sharing all that I am with another human being helps me put context and understanding into what drove me to keep on drinking and self harming. Once I get over the shock, denial or whatever it might be, I am straightening out what drove me bonkers
and to drink in the past. I would rather you know the real me, than the one I might think you want to know because if you don't find me out I certainly will find myself out today…
I don't want to be secretive today, once I start pretending, my emotional and spiritual well-being is in jeopardy. I need to know and ask myself simply: "how am I feeling?" "Why?" "And what can I do?" If I know my feelings by asking why and what to do next, my feelings inform me and my thinking can then be put to more constructive action. If I feel like hiding, my thinking is hidden and my actions are questionable, and if you see me like that, that most likely you will avoid me today…
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AA Daily Reflection: IT'S OKAY TO BE ME ~ Time after time newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives... they have turned to easier methods... But they had not learned enough humility...ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, pp. 72-73
Humility sounds so much like humiliation, but it really is the ability to look at myself-and honestly accept what I find. I no longer need to be the "smartest" or "dumbest" or any other "est." Finally,it is okay to be me. It is easier for me to accept myself if I share my
whole life. If I cannot share in meetings, then I had better have a sponsor -someone with whom I can share those "certain facts" that could lead me back to a drunk, to death. I need to take all the Steps. I need the Fifth Step to learn true humility. Easier methods do
not work.
DonInLondon 2005-2011 ‘Day In the Life’
Forgive everyone everything? I try forgive everything,"but for the grace of... go I" and at the same time there are consequences. Can we trust, or can they trust, can we include them or can they include us. Sometimes the consequences may not be as we might or
they might wish. Yet forgiveness can prevail today and every day...
Its Okay to be me... And spiritual! Conscious contact with now is the key finding the truth of living. Truth is spiritual.. Everything, people, places and things are spiritual. Most often what gets in the way of our spiritual journey is denial, thinking we know better and
misunderstanding our feelings...
Assertive is knowing how I am feeling, why and what can I do? Informed choices are made when I share how I am and why. Empathy is "how are we feeling, why and what can we do?" We include and discuss, look for common ground. Empathy, how we feel, why and shared choices of what we can do together today...
May 14 2007
No Worries Be Happy DonInLondon
This seemed to be the concern or worry today. Oddly in our fellowship some people do worry a lot. I know often I get worried with my situation and reflect why I am still alive, functioning as I am and what is it all about. This thing called life, what is it, and how do
we know what it’s about?
Facts of Life
If we are asking ourselves about our purpose, we can get down to the very basics of human society and human nature. And we can find the simple answers to living in the animal world and from Nature and Providence.
The basics of living involve what? Living and growing, making more humans and looking after them and then expiring having achieved just that. The cycle of life done and dusted. But truly these days as we have developed and grown into a more complicated world, well we humans have made it so much more complicated, we might wonder at our purpose for a lifetime and forget the original reason why any of us are here these days. To experience love and be a part of life for life’s sake!
There is an exhibition on the Hayward gallery and somehow I want to get there and see it. Antony Gormley is the artist and apparently there are sculptures he has made on surrounding buildings to the Hayward Gallery. I have a real sense of purpose sharing and
taking photos in and around London. It’s all about people, places and things, this is the world...And to see how an artist presents and feels is a great opportunity for me.
So if indeed I have interests in our living and our civilization, can share what I see and how it impacts on me, well that is purpose enough. To share life and be a part of something much bigger than me. How all us humans see the world and wonder at it, trying to make sense.
Worries
Today’s worries for me. Well I do have a few, and sometimes they are so simple it might make me feel quite petty when the world is struggling to make sense to any of us.
As I feel ok tonight, I can immediately get caught in the worries for a lost child Madeleine McCann and can feel the torment of loss. I cannot feel the utter and desolate feelings of her family or mother and father. Yet I am moved.
And as it struck me this morning when we hear of the calamities of others, we are drawn to concern for all children. I was with a friend of mine in a coffee shop and we were discussing everything to do with recovery. And then a small child is playing and we see a
happy family. It made me smile and then feel awkward for smiling as the memory of the lost little girl came into my mind. And it made me sad, and worry and also not to seem too interested in kids playing in case it was misunderstood. And then a whole deluge of
worry almost came all over me that it’s what things can look like and how others might see. And that innocent happiness and smiling can easily be misunderstood. Better to keep my smiles to family I am part of. At the same time whatever sets these worry thoughts
going? Of course concern and no matter how normal concern can be sometimes, we can easily pick up the wrong vibe or something not quite right.
Anyway as we talked on we found little to worry us in our immediate world as we discussed how fellowship helps and can sometimes be less than helpful when we are new and don’t really understand anything other than just not to drink daily.
And then from things to do with our families and how they are, to manufacturing trains, to local news, to international news and Tony Blair, and why does it take so long for him to let go and let Gordon?
So in a mid-day chat we cover everything from local stuff to global and also how the happiness and joy in this world is also surrounded by torment and loss much of the time.
Just Living Ordinary
Indeed from being shut away and fearful, from not having a clue ever how to get life back on track, my friend and I did very normal and ordinary things most people do on Sundays when not working. That is to share our world and what it presents to us.
So from being very inward and severely hampered by drink and obsession we have moved to living and contributing as we may and life enables.
We simply had time to share and be friends.
How important is that?
Well for me it’s very important, to be able to share concerns to wonder at the world and what is. And to have no clue sometimes what to do next. Because we often live life from one event to the next as if we were on tour. Tourists in our own lives, leading them and
pretending all is well.
Recent Times
Recently, I had been in company who were so bothered about how things look and how others may perceive friendship or association, it completely changed their behaviour and friendship towards me. It hurt me at the time and I realised no matter how we feel inside, sometimes there is guilt so deep and worry so great about how things look to others, that we can in fact be disowned and realise appearances are far more important than us. In this instance I was made to feel so much less than even a friend it really made me feel angry and unhappy. As did my very presence in some respects to another even though it had been quite innocently contrived? I think and feel not so in hindsight. And it need not happen ever again in the same way…
That hurt and cut me deep. And yet I know why and because I know why, it has nothing to do with me truthfully; it has to do with others and their perceptions. At the same time, I really felt the hurt. And yet today I know the difference, the love that is around me, and how false it can be to live to a perception or be concerned what others might think or feel.
Honest, Willing and Open
Why am I not anonymous in my recovering life? Well for me, and especially because truth has always been a principle I value, and really detest pretending to be ok when not, means I rather you know me completely than only what I portray and hide my less
developed attributes or incapacities.
I am free to tell the truth of me, and sometimes it’s not as nice as I would wish, and I would never have thought I would be a recovering alcoholic or have other elements to contend with. If I don’t tell you, I misinform you; if I hide my frailties I am weaker for
hiding. And you might not help me when I need help, simply because you don’t know enough. I rather you did.
So just as things are, I prefer you know me as much as I can share and you can stand to know. That way I get to hear what interests you and me. And that way we connect or disconnect. I need be happy with your prejudice and then I need not worry you or your
living by my presence.
Something from historical stories about denying others and friendships makes me feel so sad, it makes me change my outlook and attitude when others deny me and my life as it is. So disowned and less valued to pretence and appearances, makes me cold. And sad.
I am glad this is a rare occurrence and completely accept and know why. It makes me behave differently in the long run and let go and move on. Others sometimes will realise one day that pretence is really of little use to an honest living.
And for me like any other human quality, I am nowhere near perfect or ever will be, as the world turns and times change, we make the best of the next right thing. Just for today...
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AA Official Site Daily Reflections
AA Official Online Site: Big Book And Twelve And Twelve
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"Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. Chapter 6, Into Action, Big Book From: Page 72 Thru: Page 75, the bottom of the page. 12 And 12 Step 5."
May ~ All About Step Five:" Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs"
Step 5 "Admit And Accept" Reading Video Link:
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May ~ Video Reading Chapter Six Into Action Link:
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I do not speak for Alcoholics Anonymous I speak for myself. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of unique and authentic people who speak for themselves where they will to share experience, strength and hope about recovery on a daily basis. Anonymity affords
sanctuary to find how to live sober and be open, honest and willing to learn life day by day. For me "truth," "love" and "wisdom" offer the best spiritual experience by living reality today. Into the fabric of recovery from alcoholism are woven the Twelve Steps and the
Twelve Traditions, steps to be open, honest and willing to learn, traditions to live unity, service and recovery.
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Spiritual principles ~ Forgiveness Acceptance Surrender Faith Open-mindedness Honesty Willingness Moral-inventory Amends Humility Persistence Spiritual-growth Service
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