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Alcoholics Anonymous | March 23 2013 | Steps In Action | Step 3 "Your Higher Power" "impatient with myself, expecting a quick result, and to be free of alcohol kept on tripping me up!" I thought I was a good student of life and a quick learner. And I was frustrated by my inability to stop drinking. I learned all about the twelve steps and twelve traditions, I had a head full of knowledge and no experience back then when I was new to AA to live the twelve principles rather than just know them…

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Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "It is good to make amends"

Knowing something is not the same as doing something. And all my life, learning the theory and putting it into practice in relationships, family, work… Before alcohol had me at rock bottom, in a desolate depression, generally I thought I had the answers to just about everything. Thinking intelligence, it is not the same as emotional flexibility or emotional intelligence, if you like to call it that, I really didn't understand until I stopped drinking, that alcohol had always been a way of suppressing what I thought were negative feelings. And in no time in recovery, without alcohol, the emotional and spiritual experience was extreme, particularly anger and rage at myself and the world…

How do we cope when our feelings are at extremes in early days? In the end I just had to let them out, anywhere without causing any harm. In meetings of fellowship, sharing the feelings and how difficult it is to deal with them. By the time I got to fellowship, I was shivering wreck, and then all these feelings and a lot of complaints about how the world had treated me did come out. If we have made money in life, however hard it was, to lose everything material can leave us very bitter and wanting revenge. It takes a long time to realise that material matters are secondary although important to us. Fellowship taught me how to cope with the extremes, the resentments and let go entitlement to anything other than what we can do today. Things I can do and have the freedom to, things I cannot do and as an individual I am powerless. When people said that expectations or entitlements are resentments under construction and can be reconstructed every day, I realised holding on to anything would pull me down and stop me living my life with freedom today…

The world is not a fair place, there are good people who we learn to trust, and they are our bedrock. There are bad people, and through experience we learn that they will take from us in any way they can. And there are ugly people, so damaged by life, they are simply a nightmare to know and they will continue to take anything, material or emotional and leave us bereft of everything. And every day, we will find there are good people we trust, bad people we just don't want to know and ugly people who are completely unaware of just how horrible they are. Letting go any notion of trying to correct the behaviour of another person is a sound basis. Then we can concentrate on our own freedoms and not interfere with anyone anywhere one day at a time…

I made an apology on a social network which was quite justified, I made a suggestion about letting go and it was inappropriate. Just because my experience has taught me to let go and find a balance, it does not mean that what I do is necessarily right for another person. Somewhere in the fellowship literature, it says that we can trample on the toes of others and they will retaliate. I feel they are right to retaliate, because I have no business making suggestions which do not fit another person's situation. And probably I have been doing this without realising. And forgetting that people have their own path, outlook and way of life that is really to be respected and never forgotten. Step ten is a good way to remind myself not to trample on the toes of anyone with intent, but still I will do it without intention, anyone of us will do this because we are humans and we are all learning what works one day at a time... Admit, accept and apologise without reservation…

Being able to admit that we have done something wrong, is truly important in recovery. We are all going to make mistakes, and I know I make mistakes quite often, and I need to keep on learning how to live life. If I don't keep on learning and stand still and hold on to opinions and beliefs which do not fit reality, I will lose touch with my emotional and spiritual life. Understanding my feelings in the moment of now, and being able to cope with reality, keeps me safe. And it's really important that I keep on listening to what is said by those I trust, by those I do not trust and also listen with great care to those with a very ugly and horrible outlook. This way I can find balance, keep on being open, honest and willing and at the same time using common sense and stepping back, applying a bit of gumption, which I can lose sight of sometimes, and be able to make sense of what matters most, serenity and sanity in the ever present, imperfectly perfect moment of now…

How am I feeling? The word I would use is circumspect, making suggestions, without the full information and without checking the facts is something anyone of us can do. And I did it yesterday, with too little information and then we can be unhelpful and cause anger and resentment. Typically this is not my way forward, and usually I do check my facts as best I can. We have TV programmes in the UK, one in particular reminds me of how easy it is to make assumptions, the TV programme is called "rip off Britain." And the program not only shows how big business often makes mistakes at the expense of their customers. And then they deny it! And the opposite is also true, where people rip off each other, sometimes with intent, and then sometimes by mistake, and they deny it! The good news in recovery is we can clean up our side of the Street and be aware just how easy it is to undermine another person and their opinions and beliefs. And in fellowship we learn it is better to admit and accept what we have done and try make amends as best we can, or the emotional and spiritual path, not only gets cloudy, it could get ugly as well. Admit and accept and let go any idea of being right, learn the truth and be open about it and make amends as we can. There is absolutely no guarantee that although we make amends. They will be accepted in the spirit in which we make them. We will always be powerless with regard to how anyone may respond, and we need accept the truth of where they are as much as where we are today…

As the song goes, "the weather outside is frightful…" So I will have to put on my waterproofs in order to get to a meeting today, check that my bicycle lights have new batteries as it is dull and make sure I am wearing my fluorescent jacket. Not a good day for taking photographs with my type of camera. What's important today? To know my feelings in the moment of now, to keep being honest open and willing to listen to the world and not my opinion about it. To be level-headed in my relationships and see the freedom that my fellows in recovery have today and be very grateful for their company in and around where I live. And the gratitude I have the friends all over the world who are just there and part of my life today. And I hope, indeed I really do hope I don't tread on your toes all day long. And just for today? If I suggested any longer than a day, I wouldn't have to learn anything. The truth is on any given day, I need keep learning and making mistakes and asking for help, so I keep on learning wisdom from you, and then putting it in to practice and learning with humility in the moment of now…

Alcoholics Anonymous | March 23 2012 | Steps In Action | Step 3 "Your Higher Power" Today's AA daily reflection: "once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic." As I admitted I was an alcoholic some time ago, acceptance on a daily basis has become a strong foundation in my recovery. I need not hide the truth of who I am today, an alcoholic in recovery one day at a time… Letting go and accepting who I am today an alcoholic in recovery, means there is no way I need hide anything. Open honest and willing to find the truth, live the truth and understand that truth changes as life changes. Progress without shame or guilt, simply a learner each and every day. Letting go and no longer hiding, opening up to the possibilities and my personal limits emotionally and physically is not easy, indeed life is difficult…

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2009 - 2012

Sometimes when I feel a desire that my emotional and spiritual condition would improve, impatience and intolerance of myself might lead to a feeling of inadequacy. And then I remind myself it could be worse! I may not be able to control my emotions, but now I understand them better I know what helps to improve my outlook, by sharing how I feel and how I am dealing with reality informs others around me and often they can help me cope with the reality of now…

Breakfast with my sister, at her club in Chelsea today. A wander down to the Albert Bridge and a few snaps of the river. And the beautiful woman walks by, a redhead. A smile and a hello, and a smile and "good morning and how you?" A brief encounter of the best kind as she sashays on her way. It is good to appreciate beauty in motion, and the River Thames, just for today… -/-

DonInLondon 2005-2011

We are living "spiritual reality" in every feeling, thought and deed ~ Maya Angelou "My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return." -/- as we learn and cherish, to love, be loved and useful .. always

Hope founded on "spiritual and reality offers acceptance on the road of destiny ~ Helen Keller "Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence" -/- Let go, let good when good is possible.. -/- As Bill sees it... Newcomer Problems

The temptation is to become rather possessive of newcomers. Perhaps we try to give them advice about their affairs which we aren't really competent to give or ought not give at all. Then we are hurt and confused when the advice is rejected, or when it is accepted and brings still greater confusion.

"You can't make a horse drink water if he still prefers beer or is too crazy to know what he does want. Set a pail of water beside him, tell him how good it is and why, and leave him alone. "If people really want to get drunk, there is, so far as I know, no way of stopping this -- so leave them alone and let them get drunk. But don't exclude them from the water pail, either." -/-

AA Daily Reflection: AND NO MORE RESERVATIONS We have seen the truth again and again: “Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic.”. . .

If we are planning to stop drinking, there must be no reservation of any kind, nor any lurking notion that someday we will be immune to alcohol. . . . To be gravely affected, one does not necessarily have to drink a long time nor take the quantities some of us have. This is particularly true of women. Potential female alcoholics often turn into the real thing and are gone beyond recall in a few years. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 33

-/-

Just For Today, and every day cherish always...

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AA Official Online Site: Daily Reflections

http://www.aa.org/lang/en/aareflections.cfm