Alcoholics Anonymous | March 3 2013 | Steps In Action | Step 3 "Your Higher Power" "opening a locked door by letting go…" I can remember when I was having a nervous breakdown, the offer of a different job in a different part of the organisation came through. I would have seen it as a demotion rather than an opportunity to get back on my feet. My pride and ego locked the door firmly, and at the same time there was every legal reason to do so. Do I want to be right? Or did I want to be happy? I couldn't even ask those questions at the time, said without prejudice and said in ignorance of what is right for me. Legality put me in a hole and I kept on digging deeper and deeper…
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In recovery, I've often seen, the problem I have with letting go. Knowing that I have right on my side, knowing that I have a legal position, which is right and knowing I ought to fight because that's what we do. In just about every instance of being right, the amount of effort required would have lead back to the insanity of having to do the same things over and over, and never certain of getting the results, even though I was entitled and had every right to an expectation of fairness. And of course, the world is not fair, somebody else will have a different opinion, somebody else will have a different outlook and somebody else will have more power and more money to overcome any legal battle I ought to fight. Letting go righteousness is a real and helpful way forward in recovery for me today. Even if I am right, it won't make me happy, letting go and finding a different way forward with the help of others always takes me back to serenity today…
Sobriety first and the rest of life can happen. In fellowship, I realised no one was against me, and the help I received was always to do with keeping sober. And then, sorting out the rest of the chaos of life. Letting go expectations, expectations were resentments under construction. Letting go entitlements and concentrating solely on being sober, because if I were sober again for long enough, nothing was going to be a battle and most things, a conversation and asking what is possible on a daily basis. And the other thing which happened, whether I had an expectation or an entitlement in a legal way, if I handed it over to legal people, rather than do it all myself, rage, anger and frustration became the problem of the legal people, rather than me… Let go: a necessity in recovery…
All through my growing up, family, community and society was all about standing on your own two feet, putting on a brave face or a poker face, so that no one could read what was behind the mask and an ego which is all about self-sufficiency and self-determination. Taken to extreme lengths of hiding behind a poker face stopped me being vulnerable and stop me from understanding my feelings which I suppressed in later years with a drink in hand and a rage and fury burning in my soul. Proving to be a very unhealthy way of life for me, and more reliance on a drink, rather than reliance on trusted confidants who are available if only I had known. And advice delivered when matters got extreme, were extreme suggestions built up through time and far too big for anyone to cope with one day at a time. Letting go and asking for help even with the simplest of matters can build confidence that there is a world of wisdom around us. If only we could ask for help…
Letting go having to get life right first time. Letting go the notion that I'm in charge of what needs to happen in relationships, means I am no longer alone in my decisions. Having been educated to be the first in any endeavour, and then realising every endeavour requires help of one sort or another, life has become softer and easier and no longer hardship on a daily basis. I still need use my own experience, strength and hope as far as it goes, and then check out where I have got to, with people I trust. Building trust in other people, allowing them and allowing myself to express feelings first and then thinking about situations, it does not automatically mean we come to the right answer, sometimes the right answer comes from listening, and also having the patience to wait and find more information, or simply the situation changes, and ceases to be an issue…
There is a euphemism: "there is no I in team." Very true, and when we look at all the aspects of life and the situations of life which need to be addressed by more than one person, it is just about necessary to consult and be aware of everyone around us. And being aware that there is a point of view different to mine in every situation means letting go being right, and opening the door to discussion, negotiation, a parlay or whatever it need be is far better than causing more chaos by being right on my own. When we start to see the world through other people's eyes by hearing their experience strength and hope in recovery, the door opens to how life works in sobriety. And we learn that asking for help is not a vulnerability, it is a strength to be utilised just about every day in recovery…
Letting go in recovery: it means no more guessing games about where other people are coming from. There are people going through all sorts of experiences in recovery which can make them seem like good people or bad people or ugly people. In other words people in recovery are the same as people all over the planet, driven to behave in good ways, bad ways and ugly ways depending on what is happening to them. If you ask a person behaving badly in recovery to help you, the help received if any may have a bad purpose and a bad emotional content behind it. Stick with the winners? First find those who are serene? I don't know the answer to this, we make choices one day at a time, sometimes to the good or bad or ugly. With the serenity prayer in mind, it is more likely that we understand what people can do, what people cannot do and we learn the wisdom to know the difference far sooner than later… We need not prolong agony!
When it comes to romance and finance in recovery, the serenity prayer is equally good at sorting out difficult situations far sooner than later. In recovery we realise that holding on for too long and trying beyond belief to keep things going is not necessarily the answer. And the serenity prayer really does help, can do: Love and be involved. Cannot do: cannot make them love me, and cannot get their involvement. Knowing what we can do and what we cannot do and the wisdom to know the difference happens far faster if we just apply some simple understandings, powerless over the emotional and spiritual, of other people, especially when we desire them. If they do wonderful, if they don't it is also wonderful because we don't sit around wondering, we find out the difference in outlook and resolve, let go and move on without doing further harm to ourselves or others. Today!
How am I feeling this morning? A bit washed out, not so certain what I was going to write about or reflect on this morning. And then the words tumble out one way or another. I suppose this is living in the day, not trying to contrive the day to be something not trying to make it so. And I have an invitation to go out tonight was my best friend which makes me smile. Whether we go out or not is not the issue, and I will be smiling either way, because I don't know what the day will bring and how they will be, or I will be later. Learning to love, and stop holding on to people, learning to be loved back and accepting the love as it can be. And seeing the difference between how it was in the past and how it is in recovery, that is love without conditions is beyond a belief and entitlement, it is a reality today…
Alcoholics Anonymous | March 3 2012 | Steps In Action | Step 3 "Your Higher Power" Today's AA daily reflection: "overcoming self-will." I was driven and determined to do something with my life, I just don't know that I had much of a clue back in the day. I did not understand the difference between what I needed and what I wanted. All I needed was "enough" where needs are met and wants are luxuries which are unnecessary to living…
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I am shy person by nature, and it took a long time to realise this is my nature. At the same time driven by fears, a desire to fit in with others and to be something? Early childhood and teen years were full of horror and shame about family matters. Second nature to be elusive and difficult to pin down. I was attracted to alcohol and drank from an early age encouraged by my father, feelings always under the influence and a life of fantasy…
Overcoming self-will can be really confusing even now in what it really means. I guess for me with step three which is all about let go, letting go being the source of answers and letting go the notion that I need be completely independent and able to make good decisions on my own has helped me realise that all I need to do is ask the help. Letting go and asking for help anytime and anywhere helps me find wisdom and live a more complete life on a daily basis…
Letting go self-prejudice is so important to me, when it comes to dealing with alcoholism and addiction to anything. Addiction and alcoholism are chronic ailments and lifelong. If I were to hold on and feel guilt and shame about my condition, I am an alcoholic and live in recovery one day at a time, self-prejudice will hold me back in the problem when the solution is clearly about being able to face the truth of who I am today. Open, honest and willing to live life sober one day at a time…
Self-prejudice also leads me back to being judgemental not only about me, it opens the door to every other prejudice a human can carry about another. Open, honest and willing to share about my chronic ailments, brings them into the light and when the truth is out there, those who know me as I am can include me or exclude me as they choose. Those who include me because they know me are welcome in my life. Those who are prejudiced against me are completely within their rights and what they think of me is really none of my business…
DonInLondon 2005-2011
Newcomers at Portobello tonight: and so good to be in the company of new starters, returnees and old timers. As we are unique and authentic, so we remain with one similarity, sober today. I simply love seeing new people and those I am getting to know. Progress not perfect, good enough we can be...
At fifteen I wanted to be James Dean, a rebel, but with a cause! ~ Maya Angelou "At fifteen life had taught me undeniably that surrender, in its place, was as honourable as resistance, especially if one had no choice." I saw my father collapse into a dark life, I followed as drink cured pain, fear and made sure extremes were my norm, I was lost for decades. Sober freedom today, life choices restored, surrendering to truth without resistance as it unfolds..
Sober life takes on new meaning, learning afresh spiritual and emotional context ~ Mencius "The great and the good are those who do not lose their childlike heart." -/- Forever young, one day long, we can grow old on the outside and be ourselves inside, wonder abounds in every day..
Being in this "one moment" concentrating on what we need do.. ~ Shakti Gawain "We always attract into our lives whatever we think about most, believe in most strongly, expect on the deepest level, and imagine most vividly." -/- Drive safely with our lives, our passengers and with help from? We get to choose…
Sharing Experience, strength and hope and equally listening to..~ D. H. Lawrence "Be still when you have nothing to say; when genuine passion moves you, say what you've got to say, and say it hot." -/- Listening is a skilful art, hearing everything without denial takes time..
A day of joy or and sadness, a day sober facing all life’s challenges ~ Winston Churchill "Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm." Nothing is lost, cherish all our experiences, we never live them again as they are today...
Letting go of self will, extremes of ego and obsession ~ Dalai Lama "In the practice of tolerance, one's enemy is the best teacher." -/- We stop fighting our inner being, and face the world and all it may place in our path...
-/-
AA Daily Reflection: OVERCOMING SELF-WILL ~ MARCH 3, So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn’t think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us! ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 62
For so many years my life revolved solely around myself. I was consumed with self in all forms-self-centeredness, self-pity, self-seeking, all of which stemmed from pride. Today I have been given the gift, through the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous, of practicing the Steps and Traditions in my daily life, of my group and sponsor, and the capacity-if I so choose-to put my pride aside in all situations which arise in my life. Until I could honestly look at myself and see that I was the problem in many situations and react appropriately inside and out; until I could discard my expectations and understand that my serenity was directly proportional to them, I could not experience serenity and sound sobriety.
-/-
Just For Today, and every day cherish always...
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AA Official Online Site: Daily Reflections
http://www.aa.org/lang/en/aareflections.cfm
AA Official Online Site: Big Book And Twelve And Twelve
http://www.aa.org/lang/en/subpage.cfm?page=359
January 2013 | Step One Reading Video Link:
January 2013 | Video Reading How It Works:
January 2013 | Video Reading A Vision For You:
January 2013 | Playlist About Step One:
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLD1355CD80542DBFC
don@doninlondon.com |
"music for airports" By Brian Eno | http://www.enoshop.co.uk/ |
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