May 26 2013: step five in mind… "Alcoholism. This is a disease, physically not being able to stop drinking and self harming. And not only was I physically addicted to alcohol, I could not move forward emotionally and I could not cope with reality." After ninety days, indeed before the ninety days was up, I did not need alcohol in my system to function. The emotional pain was still deep and cutting, and the spiritual angle: "living and coping with reality," was still extraordinarily difficult. Coping with feelings in the moment of now! Step two, seemed out of sight, and yet sanity was being restored, even though I could not see it. The constant sharing, opening the door, listening and speaking and hearing the experience, strength and hope opened me up into what seemed a harsh cold reality…
I don't know which was worse at the time, the physical pain or the emotional pain. As the physical pain diminished, I knew the only way to release the emotional pain was to speak and let go all the secrets and fears, pride and ego needed to go or I was gone…
Alcoholics Anonymous DonInLondon "Step Five Collection" May 26
Alcoholics Anonymous, 12 Steps AA, AA Step 5, Addiction And Recovery, DonInLondon, Don Oddy,
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