Alcoholics Anonymous Blog & Video | June 8 2014
Coping with reality: emotional and spiritual progress and never perfect. Defects of character play a very big part in our recovery. Fear pride and ego can bend anyone out of shape. Fear makes us weary and tired, but it's still there and eats into serenity. Fear of loss, fear of being found out, fear of not being good enough, all play a part in undermining truth. Pride, will silence many people and stop them telling their truth in case they might lose something: people places and things. Ego demands that the truth cannot be told all the consequences of loss will undermine what we think we are entitled to keep for ourselves.
Can do cannot do, and wisdom to know the difference. The principles of being: open, honest and willing to change. This is very positive. And of course, fear, pride and ego will undermine making many a person close down, holding on, dishonest and unwilling to change. Greedy to keep parts of the old life, at the expense of the new life. Greedy, needing to be involved and intimate, based on deception and misdirection.
When we covet, hold onto things, people and places and cannot let go for fear of losing out, we bind ourselves into a madness and insanity, which will prevail if we do not accept and surrender to truth. Truth is that life changes, outlooks, attitudes and feelings alter as situations and new living emerges. When we feel the need to move on and let in new people, places and things, new possibilities, it is imperative to share this truth with those we cherish. And if we do not cherish them, people places and things, we have no business trying to hang on and pretend that everything is just the way it used to be.
Sometimes people don't fear being found out, in some cases it makes life a lot easier to sort out. In any Fellowship, family and community, people just keep on talking and talking. And the primary defect which emerges is gossip. By the time gossip reaches those most concerned and at the centre, what was innocent can become vile and abominable. Truth is lost, moment by moment and undermines love. Truth and love in the moment is spiritual. And part of the emotional and spiritual journey is experiencing our defects of character in the reality of now. Whenever we deviate and come up short on courage, faith and confidence to be truthful we are stuck in defects of character.
Until we engage with the right people in the right places and doing the right things, it can be very difficult to see truth, and then live the truth of now. Sometimes it feels better to be stuck in the mud with everybody else gossiping away the lives of other people. Far better to concentrate on our own lives. I often suggest that the currency of living can be measured in how we are able to love people, be loved back by people and find useful endeavours in whatever field of activity we choose. Being able to define ourselves as capable of loving others, being loved back by them and a life with useful things to do, is far better than sitting in judgement of others. Even though we might find it better not to judge others, this is a defect of character which blocks useful endeavours.
A casual remark, with a grain of truth can go to the good. A grain of truth can hold the key. Finding the truth in those grains of gossip is a rare commodity. And anyone might spend a lifetime missing the point of living. When endeavouring to live well, to thine own self be true first, then share it and see what truth emerges from those who matter most. Some suggest, least said and soonest mended. I might suggest simple ordinary truth will lead to mending far quicker than interrogation with retribution in mind. The road to hell is paved with good intent, and sometimes good intent is not so good, it depends on which side one sits in this world of fear, pride and ego.
Anyone anywhere can experience doubt, and the only way to deal with gossip is not indulge, simply go back to the source and see what happens. Truth is always good, even when we don't like the consequences, because truth does set people free to make their own choices, rather than live in the mud and muddle created to undermine and demean for whatever reason.
Defects of character impact on the good, the bad and the ugly. Because we can all be good, we can all be bad, and carry the burden of ugliness from time to time. Sometimes we hang on, when we should let go far more quickly. Sometimes our shortcomings of courage, faith and confidence are lost in the mire of intrigue and curiosity. Courage to change, faith in doing the next right thing and confidence to surrender to the truth. It stops us humans from holding on to other humans to whom we have no rights, enslaving others and stopping their emotional and spiritual development. One day at a time, working on the shortcomings of courage, faith and confidence, we learn to surrender to the truth and let go our fears and our pride and our ego.
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